Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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