I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
kristin has been a bad kristin
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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