and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
