Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
