wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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