Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
