I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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