weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
