I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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