gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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