The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
