No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
