Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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