i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize