Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize