Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
