Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
