I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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