i think my tv is drunk
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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