im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
