NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
