I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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