called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
