Betty ford says i'm here all night
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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