dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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