I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
