ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
