take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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