Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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