The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my shit smells like andre
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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