I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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