I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
bring money and cleavage
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
