sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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