I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
