I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
