You're so nebulous sometimes
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
