They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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