Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
