i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
