highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
