Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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