I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize