did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
