Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
