i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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