i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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