I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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