Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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