well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize