you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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