erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
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