This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
