Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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