so explain again why im purple
no
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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