So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
bring money and cleavage
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
