I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
