Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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