He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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