if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
