I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
are you so shy because you have an std?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
