So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
