Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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