Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
