You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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