Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
