So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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