On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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